Captain Lapham's Trusted Brand Sasquatch Repellent

When you're in the woods,

or on the hike,

Bring Sasquatch Repellent

to avoid the fright!

One spritz of Captain Lapham's

Trusted Brand,

And those Sasquatch's

will run from your land.

Each bottle is special,

and numbered to collect.

A group of uncertified weirdos

has blessed it to protect.

So go out there and try to prove me wrong,

Get a video, Get your bottle, and head out at dawn!